I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
And then he peed in my hair
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
