Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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