forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
