And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
