I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
