Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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