But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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