Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
