Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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