I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
