too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
