just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
