Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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