My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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