I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
