Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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