me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it glows. i had to have it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
