I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
