I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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