The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
