dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
