im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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