i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
