I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There's always time for handjobs
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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