You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
