I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
