the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
