I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
