Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
