you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
