pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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