I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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