I wanna passion pit in your ass
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
