he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
