Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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