dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
