K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
