On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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