And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
