Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
