Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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