My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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