Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
