O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
