I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
