I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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