should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
