You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
