you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
