Is it normal to miss your booty call?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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