Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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