so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
