Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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