i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
